Any sex toy can be a queer sex toy. In this article, we look into 9 toys that can spice up your sex life with yourself and with your partner(s).
By Gabrielle Kassel
Maybe those strap-on scenes in Sense 8 got you thinking. Maybe your old trusty Hitachi just tapped out. Or maybe you’re looking for a gender-affirming prop to incorporate into sexy time.
Whatever the reason, if you’re reading this, odds are it’s because you’re looking for a new sex toy. You’re in luck because if there is a sensation, aesthetic, or act you’re looking to sexperience, there is a sex toy that can help.
Unfortunately, because the wonderful world of pleasure products is mostly marketed towards cisgender, heterosexual folks having that “P-in-V” intercourse, figuring out which sex toys to buy and try can be tough for queer and trans people. And that’s why we put together this guide on queer sex toys. Read on for a list of the 9 different sex toy types that work well for people across the gender and sexuality spectrum.
You heard it here first, folks: No sex toy is inherently queer, nor is there any boundary on what sex toys could be categorized as queer. “Whether or a sex toy is a queer sex toy ultimately comes down to who is using it and whether they identify as queer, or identify the sex they’re having as queer,” explains queer sex educator Andy Duran, the education director for Good Vibrations.
And that stands even if the sex toy is marketed towards a specific gender or gender-combo, he says. “Some of the toys marketed for straight people or [cis] men and women make great toys for queer people,” he says. One of the best examples of this is the We-Vibe Chorus (Promescent.com, $199.00). This vibe was originally made for cis-heterosexual couples looking for a way to incorporate hands-free clitoral stimulation into their penetrative play, says Duran. “But one of the most popular ways the toy is used is by queer people who are strapping on for sex,” he explains.
That means the below list is not definitive. If there’s a sex toy or type of sex toy that you’ve been fantasizing about or intrigued by that isn’t on this list, don’t let that stop you from enjoying it. Promise?
A staple for tiny vibe lovers, dildo-users, or penis-owners who enjoy the sensation of vibration, vibrating c-rings are ring-shaped toys that provide buzzy vibration against your bits.
Formerly known by the more-limited term vibrating cock rings, these toys are commonly worn on the base of a shaft —for those whom it applies, it can simultaneously restrict blood flow, therefore lengthening and strengthening an erection—while providing consistent buzz to the wearer and their partner(s). And they can also be outfitted onto non-vibrating dildos, or stainless steel or crystal wands to transform them into vibrating toys.
Vibrating c-rings can also be repurposed as finger vibrators. Simply slide two or three fingers into the middle, and proceed as you wouldduring masturbation or partnered sex.
The best c-ring options on a budget are the Hot Octopuss ATOM (GoodVibes.com, $89.00) and the Happy Rabbit Vibrating Cock Ring (GoodVibes.com, $59.99). But if you’ve got green to spare, the Lelo Tor 2 (Babeland.com, $149.00) and We-Vibe Verge (Babeland.com, $119.00) are tops.
Exactly what they sound like, stainless steel wands are non-vibrating toys made out of (body-safe) stainless steel. Available in a variety of shapes, including gentle C curves and slithering S shapes, these pleasure products can be used for anything from a back massage and pelvic floor muscle release, to prostate stimulation and G-zone pleasure.
Stainless steel also conducts temperature well, which means these toys can (nay, should!) be incorporated into sensation play. Simply dunk the wand in warm or cool water, test the temp on your inner thigh, and enjoy!
The most ubiquitous of all stainless steel wands is the nJoy Pure Wand (Babeland.com, $120.00). Shaped like a smile, the Pure Wand is ideal for stimulating internal erogenous zones, especially when paired with CBD arousal oil or silicone-based lubricant. For a textured or girthier stainless steel toy, check out the Le Wand Stainless Steel line instead.
Ah, booty plugs! A sex toy anyone with an ass might enjoy, butt plugs are designed to create a sustained feeling of fullness inside the body. “Once it goes in your butt you can engage in any of the sex acts you already enjoy,” says Duran—including strap-on sex, oral sex, hand sex, masturbation, and other types of intercourse.
Most butt plugs are carrot-shaped, but the girth and length of the plug varies. “A good rule of thumb is to start with a plug that is no bigger than an index finger,” says Duran. The b-Vibe Snug Plug 1 (GoodVibes.com, $55.00) and Rainbow Pop Plug (GoodVibes.com, $24.99) are both beginner sized.
If you enjoy booty play, you might graduate to a vibrating plug like the b-for intensified play. Or, a curved plug like the Tilt Dual Vibration Warming Plug (GoodVibes,com, $149.99) which supports prostate stimulation.
Merriam Webster describes it slightly differently, but a dildo is any phallic-shaped device designed for insertion. Sometimes, dildos are very phallic-shaped, other times just ~vaguely~.
There are dildos available in a wide variety of materials, including glass, stainless steel, ABS, and silicone. Silicone dildos, however, are far softer and lighter than dildos made of other materials, which makes them the most harnessable, according to Duran. “Silicone is also the material used for dual-density dildos, which are dildos that most resemble that of flesh,” he says.
The best silicone dildo for you will vary based on your aesthetic and pleasure preferences. For a dildo that is super relastic check out New York Sex Toy Collective. For a fantasy dildo, look at Uberrime. For everything else, shop Fun Factory.
“Double-sided suction cups are awesome,” says Duran. “They’re super inexpensive, and yet allow you to create a whole new group of products with them.”
You can use one to connect two dildos and transform them into a double-ended dildo for a harness-free strap-on experience. Fun!
Or “you can use one to suction a single-ended dildo to a flat surface like a wall, or chair, or bathtub for solo penetrative play,” he says. So, if you’ve got a solo holiday booked sometime soon, treat yourself (or your Only Fans) to the classic Silicone Double Suction Cup (GoodVibes.com, $14.99).
If you’re going to have strap-on sex, one of the decisions you’re going to have to make is whether you want use a strap-style or underwear-style harness.
Underwear-style are a fabulous option for people who want to limit visual or manual access to their genitals. But “strap-style harnesses are a better option for people who want to show off their body to their sweeties,” says Duran. Strap-style harnesses also feature adjustable straps that allow you to tighten the harness to your body, offering you greater control of the dildo.
Hands down, the best strap-style harness on the market is the Spareparts Joque (ShopEnby.com, $129.99). Made from a spandex polyester blend, the Joque is machine-washable. Cheers to easy clean-up!
7. Thigh Harnesses
Sometimes known as leg straps, thigh harnesses secure a dildo to the wearer's thigh. A hands-free option for penetrative play, thigh harnesses are a good alternative to pelvic harnesses for people who have limited hip mobility, lower-body strength, or stamina.
“For anyone with lower back, hip, or leg pains, thrusting into a partner with a thigh harness can be easier than thrusting into a partner with a pelvic harness,” says Duran. “Straddling a leg is also far easier than straddling the hips of a partner who is wider than you.” Noted!
At just $24.99, the SportSheets Thigh Strap On (SportSheets.com, $24.99) is a great deal for your bum, bussy, pussy and purse. Made out of neoprene, this harness is soft, stretchy, secure and machine-washable. Pro tip: Ahead of ordering, measure the place on your leg you’re planning to use ahead of ordering this one—the largest circumference this fits is 22 inches.
Blindfolds are Duran’s favorite products to recommend. Period.
Why? “Because they’re easy to access and they can be a wonderful additive to any kind of play,” he says. “When you remove one sense, it heightens the other senses,” he explains. By removing sight, every touch, smell, and sound becomes more electric.
“While receiving a blowjob feels good, it can feel even better with a blindfold on,” says Duran. Ditto goes for anlingus, cunnilingus, hand stuff, and any of the other options on your sex buffet. *Orders 10*.
Safety tip: Make sure the person wearing the blindfold agrees to be being blindfolded, and isn’t left in a room. “You don’t, for example, want to leave someone blindfolded in a room where there are sharp corners or a balcony they could fall off,” says Duran. True!
The pinwheel, also known as the Wartenberg wheel, is a type of sensation toy designed to shock your nerves… in a pleasurable way! About the size of a utensil and rolly like a pizza cutter, “pinwheels are designed to be rolled across your skin,” says Duran. Usually, your non-genital skin.
While the toy looks intimidating, it can’t actually cause harm unless you are intentionally using it to cause pain or draw blood. Trust, if it makes you or your partner(s) scream it will be screams of pleasure.
There are pinwheels with one, three, and more spiky wheels available for purchase. It may sound counterintuitive, but the more wheels a pinwheel has the less intense the sensation. If you have a lower pain tolerance, for your first sensation toy, start with a multi-wheel option.